About The Riiit


The Riiit is a creature most often found in an urban environment. It gains its name from the short noise it makes when vocalizing. It is characterized by a squat, round body, large pointed ears, a small bladelike horn atop its wedge-shaped snout and an impressive mouth with a set of wide and sharp teeth. It has six clawlike appendages which it uses to scuttle about, the frontmost pair being larger and more developed than the hind pairs.

Riiits are friendly and inquisitive by nature; trying to keep one’s snout out of mischief or danger can be a challenge. The Riiit will often wander off to explore the world around it, often testing unfamiliar objects with its teeth by giving it a light gnaw. While the Riiit has a decent sense of direction, if distracted it can get itself lost. A Riiit in distress will open its mouth and emit a loud continuous wail until help arrives, or whatever is distressing it goes away.

As it is always growing, the Riiit has a roaring good appetite that will soon empty the refrigerators and pockets of the unprepared. The Riiit’s diet consists primarily of meat–preferably cooked and seasoned, but it will not think twice about eating meat raw. Its favorite food by far is smoked ham hock, honey ham and smoked turkey drumsticks, and in the absence of either it will go for bacon and blocks of corned beef. It is capable of digesting the occasional fruit or vegetable, but too many will give it a bellyache. It enjoys a scoop of ice-cream as a treat, but as it tends to swallow the entire scoop in one go, severe brain freeze is a common occurrence.

The Riiit has an acute sense of hearing and is able to detect the sound of a refrigerator door opening and closing from twenty paces away. Its eyesight is comparable to that of humans, and it appears to be able to distinguish colors and depth just as well. However, its sense of smell is easily confused. A good way to protect one’s meat-based foods from untimely consumption is to shrink-wrap or seal them in resealable plastic bags–the lack of meaty scent confuses the Riiit and prevents it from recognizing the sealed packages as food. Frozen meat is also safe, for it does not smell very much to a Riiit’s snout.

The Riiit is not able to regulate its body temperature by sweating; like a dog, it will pant or sit with its mouth wide open in an effort to cool down. If it has overheated and cannot cool itself fast enough, the Riiit will crawl into the nearest refrigerator and settle itself in the lowermost rack. Occasionally it can become trapped inside the fridge if it is unable to find the magnetic seal with its noseblade. Any odd noises emanating from the fridge should be investigated immediately, as it is often an indicator that it contains a stuck Riiit. If the Riiit becomes too cold, it will tuck its claws underneath it and huddle in a tight lump to retain its body temperature.

It is speculated that there may be many different kinds of Riiit; the Riiit that lives in this studio is of the species Riiitus Rotundus and answers to the name Victor.